Monday, November 11, 2013

An Unnecessary Stress

So it's been over a month since I've posted last. Clearly this blog isn't turning out to be what I hoped. Instead of a place where I can share significant events or revelations or whatever, this blog has become a nagging headache. You might not understand that at all since I've only posted 2 times but that's exactly why. This blog has transformed within my mind to become a place where I need to prove and write oh so eloquently that I'm learning lots and having these profound experiences and where I can get people to consider deep religious topics that I'm having personal revelations about. Don't get me wrong, I am having all of these experiences but why has it become a thing to prove? In reality this blog should simply be about small updates on my week to keep family and friends in the loop when it actuality it's morphed into this ridiculously complex thing. Honestly, I don't know how that happened but the pressure that has come from it has been slowly driving me crazy. On top of my super busy 6 days a week and average of 12 hour long days, thinking about writing for this blog, writing in my journal, reading books or whatever extra stuff I'd planned to do with my time stresses me out constantly. It's like I'm back at school procrastinating an important assignment but it's even worse cuz there is no due date to make me get my act together. So with that said, I'd like to apologize to all those who were expecting a lot more updates from me on here. I'd love to say that now that I've come to this realization I'll have more simple updates coming but I really don't think that is going to happen. I need to mentally get this stresser out of my mind and I think by telling you all what's going on that will allow me to do that. Hopefully I can turn this back into (in my mind) a place of fun stories, small thoughts, and no stress! So let me start with this story:

This past Thursday the entire team was on retreat with St. Lawrence Seminary, an all boys high school. Emily, Jared, and I were put on the Junior retreat. Picture this- me giving a talk about the gifts of the Holy Spirit in front of 60 high school boys.... Did you laugh? Yeah I did at first too haha but then I actually met the guys and my nervous laughter turned into a giant smile. All of these boys were so open to being there, to learning, to growing, and so willing to participate, be a little silly, and they had genuine interest in the goodwill of everyone there. The three of us went into this retreat feeling way less than prepared and came out feeling like it was one of the best retreats yet. The Holy Spirit really helped us out there.

One of the funniest parts happened at the very end. We were playing quarter hockey (small, enclosed, wooden board with 3 sections and different openings to get the quarter through and score in). I challenged one of the boys, Mark, and I was actually beating him pretty badly when some of the other guys started gathering around. Next thing I know I have a whole cheering section. Every time I made a good move they'd cheer. Every time I made a bad move they'd reassure me. Every time he made a good move they'd say I was giving him a chance. Funniest of all, every time I actually scored a dance party would erupt and there would be high fives all around. Poor Mark could not catch a break but the other guys were lovinggg it. I never thought I could feel so completely comfortable being only 1 of 2 girls in a group of 60 high school boys haha. (Granted they were much more well behaved and mature than normal high school boys but still) It's definitely one retreat that will stick with me :)

Ok now that I've written a novel, don't expect anything else any time soon (I'm sure by now you're not but had to say it lol). God Bless!


  1. Great post! I wish I could have seen you give your session on the Holy Spirit. That one is so goofy! lol Miss you lots

    1. Thanks Kristine! It actually wasn't the one you're thinking of so you weren't missing out on me making a fool of myself haha Miss you too, 2 days! :D